Thursday, February 24, 2005

Winter '05 in San Diego

Nice weather we've been having here in sunny San Diego.

Imagine if you will...
Scene: A cafe in which one may order up the weather. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word "rain" is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.
Man:You sit here, dear.
Wife:All right.
Man:Morning!
Waitress:Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's cold and clouds; cold wind and clouds; cold and rain; cold clouds and rain; cold clouds wind and rain; rain clouds wind and rain; rain cold rain rain clouds and rain; rain wind rain rain clouds rain thunder and rain;
Vikings: Rain rain rain rain...
Waitress: ...rain rain rain cold and rain; rain rain rain rain rain rain mud slides rain rain rain...
Vikings: Rain! Lovely rain! Lovely rain!
Waitress: ...or a lovely, spring-like day with the sun shining, birds singing and children playing while the sweet aroma of freshly cut grass gently wafts into your nostrils, like Opening Day of Baseball season with cold and rain.
Wife: Have you got anything without rain?
Waitress: Well, there's rain cold wind and rain, that's not got much rain in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY rain!
Man: Why can't she have cold clouds rain and wind?
Wife: THAT'S got rain in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much rain in it as rain cold wind and rain, has it?
Vikings: Rain rain rain rain... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the cold clouds rain and wind without the rain then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like rain!
Vikings: Lovely rain! Wonderful rain!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely rain! Wonderful rain!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have cold clouds rain and wind without the rain.
Wife: I don't like rain!
Man:Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your rain. I love it. I'm having rain rain rain rain rain rain rain mud slides rain rain rain and rain!
Vikings:Rain rain rain rain. Lovely rain! Wonderful rain!
Waitress:Shut up!! Mud slides are off.
Man:Well could I have her rain instead of the mud slides then?
Waitress:You mean rain rain rain rain rain rain... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings:(Singing elaborately...) Rain rain rain rain. Lovely rain! Wonderful rain! Rain ra-a-a-a-a-ain rain ra-a-a-a-a-ain rain. Lovely rain! Lovely rain! Lovely rain! Lovely rain! Lovely rain! Rain rain rain rain!
Apologies to Monty Python.